Never thought this would happen.

Here I have some musings, changes and a random assortment of photos that have nothing to do with this blog entry. Enjoy!

Me in front of the Mattel Toy Store in El Segundo.

After much consideration, confusion and uncertainty, it would appear that I've come to some semblance of a decision. Sort of. Maybe. I don't know quite how to say this, but I'm having a very strained relationship with photography lately. I'm sure it has been obvious based on the lack of real photos in my self-proclaimed "photo blog". I don't know what to say though. I'm feeling a disconnect. I love photography; I am appreciative of my education, knowledge and equipment. I still derive joy from the hobby and I love to document my friends and family. But. But...

This problem would be very easy to solve if I had the key to figuring out what went wrong in the first place. It was a gradual change inside of me. I began picking up the camera less and less. Fewer things were inspiring me. Whenever I did have the camera in my hands I would start to feel aimless. I wasn't approaching subjects with vigor and enthusiasm and would take very few shots. Andrew has been reminding me to bring the camera places, but I've been shrugging and saying no to the suggestion.

Christening my new ramen bowl! Andrew bought it for me :D

The feeling has been uncomfortable, unsettling. Photography is the longest lasting interest/hobby of my life. I went to school for it. I travelled around the world for it. And now I don't want it? Well, I wouldn't say that I don't want it. I do want it. But not in the way that I've always had it. I suppose that would be the key. I need a new approach, a different angle. Fortunately, I have options.

Andrew has a dabbling interest in shooting film. I happen to have experience in that from school, as well as multiple film cameras. I also have a back stash of expired 35mm film, and he likes to buy 120 film for my Holga.

The inside of the birthday card that I made for my nephew.

When he first expressed interest in shooting with the Holga I sighed exasperatedly to myself. That Holga has been the bane of my existence ever since my teacher gave it to me two years ago. He wanted me to branch away from the technical aspect of digital and focus simply on the art and composition aspect of a photo. I was not happy. I liked the technical; I loved everything I had learned and I was not willing to give up control to a plastic lens and spontaneous light leaks. He tried and tried to get me to see the value of letting go and seeing what happens, but I wasn't ready to do it. I think I am now. I think I finally see what he meant.

I know I've mentioned the camera store Samy's before. Andrew and I go there to look at camera equipment and compare prices. They have a large film section with a lot of products, including the items necessary to do an at-home lab. My eyes grew a little when I saw all of the chemicals and supplies. Analog processing and printing (although this place doesn't sell enlargers) was indescribably fulfilling and interesting. It stretched me and frustrated me, but the thrill of a print that I deemed perfect was simply delicious. To add the cherry on top, this place does processing; it would satisfy just about all of our film needs. The last piece of this puzzle would be a film scanner for us to use at home. We're currently keeping our eyes open for one.

The front of the card that I made for my nephew.

He and I have also discussed the option of creating a make-shift lab in the laundry room. It could definitely work. We'd only be able to do black and white, but that's not really a bad thing. I don't imagine we'll be doing that anytime soon, but it's something that we'd both like to have someday.

I've derailed myself a little bit. Allow me to get back to my point.

Andrew and I went out on Sunday and he told me to bring my Holga and my Nikor film camera. I snapped a few photos while we were out and noticed that the familiar feeling was creeping back. The good feeling. The love-of-photography feeling. It was then that I decided a switch to an emphasis on film photography was the right decision. I'm finally in that place where I understand the benefit to letting go of technical aspects and simply finding things to appreciate, regardless of the math/science/knowledge behind the shot. I suddenly want to focus on subject matter, feeling and abstraction. This has never happened before! It's a strange sensation. I feel good about it though. I feel positive about it.

It rained last week! Glorious, beautiful rain.

I don't know yet exactly what this means for my photo blog, but things will definitely continue so no worries there! I'm not going to stop digital photography altogether either. I'm considering doing digital photos one week and analog photos the next, just alternating. This depends on how much film I shoot (a lot I hope!) and of course how soon I can get my hands on a film scanner.

I believe that a large portion of my internal process to want to focus on film stems from a blog titled The Dainty Squid. She switches between digital and film, and posts such a wide variety of fun and interesting photos. I forget how much I love the aesthetic of film. She's wild and free, snapping photos that feel so moving and full to me. I want that. I want it back.

Andrew and I are now proud owners of a baby apple tree!

Her blog is also just generally enjoyable to read. I definitely recommend it! She has a bunch of cats, which is great. She loves mushroom hunting and posts the coolest pictures of all of the mushrooms that she finds in the woods. She also has a super funky and fun wardrobe and really likes to thrift shop. I'd like to go thrifting more often, and so would Andrew, but we only have a Salvation Army near us and it happens to be absurdly expensive. No good.

Perhaps sometime soon we can research better locations near the city and we can have ourselves a fun day trip? I'll run that idea by him and see what he thinks ;) Time to go take some photos!

-MJ

I walk to and from work.

Solicitor doors just down the street from the studio.

This will be filled with photos of that.

Alright, it is serious blogging time; there is a lot to catch up on! I almost feel overwhelmed. Where shall I start? It'll be difficult to go about this in a linear fashion, so why don't I just start talking about things as I think of them?

A not in use church.

First of all, I'd like to give a shout-out to Herbal Essences, because their line of volumizing and shine-inducing shampoo and conditioners are amazing. My hair doesn't feel thick, per say, but it certainly feels less limp and pathetic. I felt that that was important to put here because I bought the shampoo and conditioner upon my arrival. I haven't used Herbal Essences in a while, but I don't remember them being this good. Is it special in Ireland, or have they changed their formula? I'll have to investigate once I'm back home.

The door of the not in use church.

The weather has taken a turn for the wet and dreary. Normally I'm not bothered, but walking to and from work has changed my tune. It is far too damp out there. Not to mention cold. No, let's mention cold. It is so cold here. I mean, March is a stupid month for weather anyway, but this is excessive. I didn't bring any shoes other than converse because I... hm. OK so I'm not sure why. Regardless, that was a mistake. I should have brought a pair of winter/snow boots. I own two pairs, so I'm feeling a tad foolish at the current. I'm interested in keeping all of my toes, so I stopped into Dunnes on the way home today to look for some inexpensive boots. Why is it that shoes are either dirt cheap and of shoddy construction, or off the charts expensive and practical? And by practical I mean they're not going to fall apart. There are plenty of impractical shoes that are well built. There are also plenty of impractical shoes that are pretty much made of paper and scotch tape. I've derailed myself a bit. I have a goal of obtaining my shoes that will keep my toes on my feet. Moving on.

Gate along the front of a church.

I started working at the studio on the 1st and I am happy to report that it's going very well. Peter is very nice and fun to work with, as are his two main employees. I shall call them... Aurora and Philip, haha! Philip is from England and Aurora is from Germany. There's quite the diverse environment in there! It's very fun. I've had a chance to work with everyone now and I'm liking it a lot. It's a bit laid back even though there's a lot of work to be done. I can definitely tell when someone is feeling a touch stressed, but things have (so far) remained calm.

Excellent vine skeleton along the wall of an apartment building.

Something particularly special about what I'm doing over in the studio is presenting new ideas for their existing systems. Workflow and digital asset management, to be specific. Peter really liked the few things that I said when we met last summer, and my first day in he took me to a late breakfast to discuss some of my ideas in more detail. So far I have had plenty of opportunities to share my thoughts and opinions, and we're all working together to implement them to see if I can have a positive impact on the studio. It's truly a unique experience and I am extremely fortunate to be here doing this.

This is about halfway to the city centre from the studio. I haven't gone in yet, but I plan on it.

Excellently blue building next to the comic store.

Just as an aside, I keep playing with my hair because it feels so nice. I've been keeping it completely pulled back with a clip the past few days because it has been so freaking windy, and since it's down before bed I'm having a hayday with it!

Just a bend in the road. I wonder why that Wired Gaming place closed down?

Anywho.

Back side of the Roisin Dubh and some of the Corrib River. 

The studio is in Salthill and fairly close to the Prom. It takes me about 20 minutes to walk to work, so I'm getting a nice little round of cardio erryday. Although, that get counteracted by how much tea I've been drinking at the studio. I'm not accustomed to it, and I don't really like the flavor unless I have 3 teaspoons of sugar. That's a lot. Most people do one or half of one or something. If I have more than one cup a day then damn, that's too much sugar. And that's not even touching on the fact that every surface is covered in chocolate biscuits! I know I don't have to eat them, but if they're there and I'm allowed then I am going to eat them! The candy here is horrible, but the chocolate is amazing. I've missed it and I have to be careful. So far I've only had hot chocolate from Butler's once, and that's saying something. I've managed to show restraint in that area. Also, I haven't had mashed potatoes for lunch everyday; another incredible feat of willpower. If I can stay away from the mountains of chocolate then I'll be golden. Oh, and if I contain Coke consumption to only when I'm having whiskey.

Owen works at the Daybreak and his brother-in-law owns Health & Fitness next door!

So, a bit more about work. Peter does a wide variety of photography. He's one of the top wedding photographers in Ireland and just about everyone in Galway knows who he is or is at least familiar with his name. He does family photos, modeling/portrait photography, commercial, architecture and also small editorial type stuff. He covers a lot of the Debs photos for the schools too. He has a modest studio in the center of town with a cozy and open atmosphere. I really enjoy being in there. Thus far I've been doing all administrative and design work. On the 18th there are two shoots that he wants me to help with; one is an engagement shoot and another is a family portrait with five kids. Yeesh.

Harvest was where I went with my friends last summer every time we bought some drink. They're all closed now :(

My largest concern happened to come up on Monday, I think it was. Peter asked Philip to setup the lights in the studio for a shoot that was coming in later in the evening. Philip asked me if I'd ever setup a studio before and I was all, "Psh, yeah. Are you kidding me?". Actually I modestly replied, "Yes I have, but it never hurts to have a refresher. I don't know what brand of strobe you use; they're probably all similar but please show me." 8-B So I went into the studio space with him, he hands me a light meter.... and I just stared at it. My mind was an absolute blank. Talk about embarrassing! He goes, "What the hell are you doing?" and I laughed and shrugged and went, "I know this looks bad, it's just been a while and I'm having a lapse at the moment!"He directed me and once I was finished I handed him the light meter and walked back to my desk in shame.

Rickety and closed off bridge. It goes from a car and foot bridge to that weird stand-alone building.

You're not allowed to walk on it. Obviously.

Today he asked me again if I had any portrait photography experience. I hesitated for a second, knowing that everyone here is notorious for their jokery, before asking, "...are you being serious?" and he said yes, then went on to explain that he meant studio portrait photography. I waited another second before saying, "I know that what happened in the studio the other day showed to the contrary, but I promise you that I'm very well versed in studio photography. It has been almost a year since I've done it, so the knowledge isn't at the front of my mind. I promise that up until that point I spent two years in the studio! I just need a refresher!" he laughed and seemed to believe me >.> I'd love to get in there and prove to myself that I still know what I'm doing!

This place is near Massimo's and the Roisin Dubh. Shockingly good fries. The burgers aren't very good.

As for business away from work? I spend a lot of time at home. I like my house and my room except for the fact that it's cold. I was thrilled when I noticed a space heater in my room. There's no heat to speak of in the house. I believe it runs on gas and, well, the gas tank is empty! We just wear shoes and long sleeves and keep bundled up at night. I'm greatly looking forward to nicer weather.  Aside from the house being cold, it's very nice. Everything works as it should and I think I've finally figured out the washer and dryer. It's furnished but there are a few things to be desired in the kitchen. A wooden spoon, cookie sheet and spatula are just a few items I can think of. Sharp knives, there's another one. Good thing I can 'survive' off of peanut butter & jelly and Frosted Flakes! Just kidding, I've been eating pasta too.

It's nice inside there. I've been with Owen and Ger a few times.

My housemates are very nice. We'll call them... Allen and Titus. Allen is a law student and Titus is training to be a hotel manager. Allen's girlfriend... Tyra... is around a lot and she's just lovely. They seem like great company and it's a shame that I haven't made time to socialize with them yet. I will though! I definitely will. The house runs very smoothly, everyone is quite considerate. Somehow we haven't run into any issues with the bathroom, which is amazing. No one is ever in there when I need to get in, and as far as I know I haven't prevented anyone from being somewhere on time by hogging up the shower. Everyone does their dishes, every time, and we even put away one another's clean dishes that are drying.  I don't have the hang of the garbage schedule yet, but I have sorted the trash/recycle/compost and put them in their relevant bins, so that's good.

The upper portion of some shop fronts in the Latin Quarter.

Earlier this week I tried my hand at real cooking. Andrew gave me a few suggestions on what to buy and make, then he talked me through cooking over video chat. I ran into a few problems. Namely the fact that I don't know how to cook. There are basic aspects that elude me. Mistakes were made. Frustration was present. Cheese was melted. Chicken was ever so slightly burned. In the end I had some damn delicious homemade macaroni and cheese, pan seared chicken and some vegetables. In case you aren't paying attention, that means that I prepared raw meat all by myself. I had my hands all up ins that boneless skinless chicken fillet. It was gross, by the way.

This is a great little grocer. It looks so authentic and old-school from the outside. I'd like to make time to go in and look around.

This has become a bit excessive so I think I'm going to wrap it up. I've hardly touched on what has happened since I arrived and I'm hoping to get into a regular posting groove again. St. Patrick's Day is next week. This'll be interesting.

And finally the studio! I have to cross the street twice to get to it. It's confusing because the cars go all over the damn place at this intersection.

I'll end this with a few 'creative' photos. Good? Bad? I'm not sure yet. I like them though, and I certainly had fun creating them.

-MJ

Ireland Day 63 - Rain

And lots of it! Night before last there was a spectacular thunder/lightening/rain storm and last night there was just a lot of rain. I left for the bus stop a few minutes early because I was running early (how awesome is that?) and I was greeted to a rather neat sight near the park: super deep puddle!

If I hadn't left early I wouldn't have had a chance to stop and take pictures :3

The rest of the day wasn't super eventful. Pretty average, really. I've been in a very good mood the whole time though, so that's nice! I spent my lunch with Caitriona and Steve which certainly helped with the good mood! I ate at a new place as well, delicious sandwich accomplished! Steve discovered Curiosity Cola, endorsed by a dog. It was good times.

I wondered what I would do with the rest of my day, but nothing particularly brilliant came to mind, so I decided I would just shoot on home and skype with Cassidy! Plans formed. I had mini pizzas for dinner. I need to learn to cook.

The rain was so interesting today. It was a nice day for the most part, and then while I was walking to the bus stop after work it started to sprinkle, and then rained fairly heavy. So I stood and smiled at the sky with my headphones on. I would have spread my arms wide if I hadn't been in public. The bus ride was kind of funny, there's new upholstery on the seats and halfway through the route we got a new bus driver! When I got off the bus it was overcast, and then ten feet from my front door is started to just. pour. It was exciting.

Rain like this never seems to last long so I didn't have a big enough window to experiment and get exactly what I was looking for.

I wanted to take a photo so badly but I had to use the bathroom even more (I have had an extreme amount of water today). By the time I ran back and flung open the front door there was no rain. NONE! It had stopped. "Are you kidding me?!" I yelled. After trudging upstairs and unloading my bag, to my great delight, the rain started again! So open went my bedroom window and I took as many photos as I could until the rain stopped.

Remaining droplets.

Now I am watching 17 Again (brilliant film, by the way) and wondering. Wondering wondering.

-MJ